help wanted: test commenting speed (again)

Hi all,

I am home today with a mildly sick kid (no worries, all will be well) and would like your help in testing the latest iteration in the ongoing saga of Con or Bust’s Commenting Times.

To wit: the post you are on right now is Con or Bust’s original site/main domain/etc. I would really love it if you could please post a comment here and take note of how long it took the comment to post. Hold that thought until step two.

(Feel free to be creative in your test comments, though remaining within the bounds of good taste. Favorite quotes? Song recommendations? Get your pet to walk across the keyboard? But “testing” is fine too, I’m just hoping for as many comments as possible.)

Then, leave a comment on our testing site, where there is also a very quick poll asking for your findings.

Thanks so much!


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  1. When the string is long, the pig is late.

  2. My previous comment took a whopping 9 seconds to post. Let’s try one with more words in it. Lots more words. I have the best words. A wet bird never flies at night. A Scarran walks into a bar. “Why the long face?” This is how Froonium Ricky’s brain works on only one cup of coffee. Free association football. There is a house in New Orleans they call the Falling Sun but you never hear about that one. Well, do ya, punk? This morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas, and now I need new pajamas. I didn’t know we had a king; I thought we were an autonomous collective. *sips coffee* This isn’t writing; it’s typing. The cat rolls in on little fog feet. I tip my hat to the new revolution or something like that. Reminder: Auction items are intended for personal use. Use them wisely and wash your hands afterwards. You can have too many cooks, but you can’t have too many Kates. TRUE STORY: One of my UCLA Extension writing courses had THREE “Kates” in it — a “Kate,” a “Cat,” and a “Catherine.” We called them all “Bruce” just to keep it clear. OH HEY, and let’s not forget the two funniest women (current titleholders) in Australia: Kate McLennan and Kate McCartney; if you haven’t checked out “The Katering Show” on YooToob, go, and thank me later. This ought to be enough to give the commentator machine a thorough thrashing. I’m going to hit Submit. Three… two… one…

  3. I just picked a catkin from my head. Weeding is becoming a Thidwicking activity, apparently.

  4. Once there was an elephant,
    Who tried to use the telephant—
    No! No! I mean an elephone
    Who tried to use the telephone—
    (Dear me! I am not certain quite
    That even now I’ve got it right.)
    Howe’er it was, he got his trunk
    Entangled in the telephunk;
    The more he tried to get it free,
    The louder buzzed the telephee—
    (I fear I’d better drop the song
    Of elephop and telephong!)

  5. For want of a nail, the shoe was lost;
    For want of a shoe, the horse was lost;
    For want of a horse, the rider was lost;
    For want of a rider, the message was lost;
    For want of a message, the battle was lost;
    For want of a battle, the war was lost;
    For want of a war, the kingdom was lost;

    And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.

  6. When anyone may call themselves an expert and be considered credible without proving understanding or wisdom, intelligent discourse dies.

  7. Sleep by Treewave is my favorite song of the deepest obscurity.

  8. Lorum ipsum dolor sit amet

  9. The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plains.

  10. May it please the honorable justices of this court….

    (just back from the 9th circuit)

  11. A little late to the party, but here’s my comment test for you! (Let’s see if I have my lines memorized…)

    Yeah, I knew they don’t serve meals on Trans-Am. That’s why I had a turkey sandwich before I boarded–turkey on whole grain. ‘Course, I’m not supposed to have a lot of breads because of I have high sugar. They GAVE me a mustard packet, but I didn’t use it. There’s sugar in mustard. There’s sugar in GD everything, if you ask me. Yeah, that’s why their fares are so low, they cut out all the BS– No, no! I have high sugar, besides, I had a turkey sand– Oh. Either way, it’s a lot of sugar. Oh, okay. All right. Wow, there’s a lot of sugar on this plane! Lorna Doones!! She didn’t say anything about Lorna Doones! She just said cookies, not Lorna Doones! I love Lorna Doones! They’re my favorite. Oh, NO! Excuse me, I’ve changed my mind and would like to have the Lorna Doones, please. Well then, I wish you wouldn’t have said cookies, sweetheart. If you had said Lorna Doones, I would have said yes. Now what do we do? Well, can you check in the back? Sometimes, A-holes leave individual packets lying around for later. Sometimes, they hide things! I know what’s going on. Boy, this is upsetting! She’s handing out Lorna Doones like it’s some kind of a New Year’s Eve party! They’re just about my favorite thing in the whole GD world. Especially when they’re fresh! They’re just heaven when they’re fresh! Are they fresh? Oh, no, you’d KNOW if your Lorna Doones were fresh or not. Trust me. Are you gonna finish? ‘Cause if you’d be willing to give up even a half, I’d give you one of mine when she gets back. She said she thought she had them back there. All right, no need to scream in my face! You’re probably yelling ’cause you’re hopped up on all that sugar, I’ll tell you that much! Ah well, she ain’t comin’ back. I know what’s going on. F-me, I guess! You know what this reminds me of? Patty Silaski’s Bat Mitzvah. All of the girls said they were gonna wear skorts, they all changed their minds, I didn’t get the message, and I end up being the A-hole in a skort. Trust me, you never want to be the only A-hole in a skort. Thank you! These aren’t fresh! Now what do we do?!

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